Oprah Bad For Your Brain?

Maybe the city will now ban shows like Oprah and soap operas. It seems they rot your brain and are more damaging than , oh let's see,....second hand smoke. One can hope.

Who is Going to Tell Joaquin to Put Out That Butt?

Sorry, but Joaquin can smoke in my city any day.

Calabasas Housing Prices:The Good, The Bad and The Palatial

The good news,Calabasas home prices are down 8.1% for February 2006. The bad news: The average home sold for $1.149 million. This is what your money will buy. But you need $5393.00 a month to pay the mortgage. At that price this is what you'll be eating for dinner.

Calabasas Housewives Run

The Calabasas based group "Not So Desperate Housewives" ran in this week's LA Marathon and raised more than $10,000 for LA Charities. The group was started by ultra-marathoner Shannon Farar-Griefer, a 44-year-old actress/fitness model and mother of two.

College Grads Face Best Job Market

Well, some good news for a change. College grads will enter the best job market in five years. It must be Bush's fault.

Clooney Does it All

George Clooney donated his goody Oscar bag to the United Way. The guy is too much. He's smart, principled, gorgeous, has an Oscar and a house in Italy. Then he goes around doing stuff like this???

*sigh* Here is the loot Oscar participants scored.

A Red State Votes to Ban Smoking

At least they get to vote in Alabama. The people of the state will decide whether to ban smoking in restaurants and bars, which is fine by us. Will a red state go as far as Calabasas? Time will tell, but with all the major issues going on in the world today, it's amazing that time is being taken for this debate.

Snapper Jon's Fish Market: Fish and philosophy

In what will be a semi regular feature, the Calabasas Chronicle will recommend local businesses we think are exceptional. We hope you support these various gems. We get nothing from them, just the satisfaction of knowing that we have spread the word.

First up is Snapper Jon's Seafood located at 22941 Ventura Blvd., between Woodlake and Fallbrooke. Snapper Jon's has the freshest, best tasting fish you will find anywhere. Buy the fish to go, or Jon himself will cook up a great fish lunch, while discussing life, love and fish with fish hungry patrons.

Below is a sample menu. Have fun and happy eating.

Calabasas Smoking Circus

The media, both print and television, were out in full force yesterday as the new snti-smoking law took effect in Calabasas. A lot of residence made their way on to the local and national news telecasts and many were quoted in the front page of the Los Agneles Times. The story has made headlines across the globe. The powers that got the ball rolling were sitting in the outdoor area of the Commons waiting for their close ups and fielding calls from the vast media conglomerate. We hope they enjoy the fiteen minutes.

The Calabasas Chronicle did an extremely unscientific poll yesterday at the Commons and found the media's portrayal of the event were was follows.

NBC "everyone is for it."

ABC "it's evenly split."

(hey, we said unscientific). One high school student reported the afternoon rush at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf was smoke free, however the gas fumes from the numerous newsvans were overwhelmingly "smelly". Maybe we can get former Mayor Groveman to ban news vans next.

A St. Paddy's Pinch=Sexual harassment?

Students at AC Stelle Middle School were informed yesterday that any pinching due to the absence of green attire, a St Patrick's Day tradition, would be considered sexual harassment. Of course the leprechaun to the left wouldn't even be allowed in Calabasas because he's smoking.

Where is the Acorn???

Interesting how the City of Calabasas is making news across the nations for it's anti smoking ordinance, but not a mention of the ban at all in our local paper, The Acorn.

We're wondering if the editors at the paper got the word to kill the story in exchange for access to city politics. It's just a theory but something to consider.

Smoke a Camel Go to Jail??

An e-mail exchange between Calabasas public information specialist, Michael Hafkin and Reason Magazine Editor, Jacob Sullum. gives a chilling overview of our new clean air ordinance saying the city could put smokers in jail, but they never will. I guess we just have to take their word for it.

Check out Our Message Boards

Check out our message boards. Join the discussion. Put in your two cents! Start you own thread or comment in ongoing topics.

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click the the "Calabasas Community Discussion Board and Forum" on the lower right side of the blog below the links!

Happy posting!

It Keeps Getting Worse for Bush

President Bush can't catch a break. First it was Katrina, then the impending civil war in Iraq, a VP with a gun, talk of impeachment, and now this??? Former Calabasas resident Jessica Simpson snubs Bush!!!! Oh the horror. He should resign now. If you can't keep your bubble headed blonde base intact, it's over.

That's A Lot of Zeros

From AP news, The Senate has approved a bill permitting the government to borrow another $781 billion, bringing the limit on the national debt to nearly $9 trillion.

$9,000,000,000,000 . That is more zeros than my high school algebra test scores. (ca-ching!)

Barry Groveman Makes His Case on KCRW

In case you didn't catch our illustrious former Mayor/Current City Councilman, Barry Groveman on KCRW last night, click HERE to read the transcript or listen to the interview on Which Way LA with Warren Olney

Groveman used the interview to campaign for higher office ....ooops we mean defend his anti smoking ordinance he championed here in Calabasas. Warren Olney's guests also included Calabasas resident, Jack Soloman, and Jacob Sullum, editor of Reason Magazine who was previously quoted at the The Calabasas Chronicle.

Blinkers, Cell Phones & Thoughtlessness

How hard is it to use your blinker when you're turning? How hard is it to hang up your phone and drive? You're not in Kansas anymore, people, so drive like you're all there, focused on the event at hand. You're either incredibly distracted which is scary or incredibly egocentric which is almost scarier.

Clean Air Calabasas-Did You Get Your Pamphlet?

We're wondering how much this cost the city. The beautiful color printed pamphlet explaining the 'comprehensive secondhand smoke control ordinance', didn't come cheap. Along with the cost of mailing and enforcement, it looks like the money the city is sitting on is going somewhere.

Four page memos were also sent out to business owners earlier in the week with a list of rules and regulations including keeping a "designated smoking area" 20 feet away from oak trees. Oak trees?

Consequences for 'offending others by smoking' are included in the Pamphlet and range from warnings, tickets and possible civil lawsuits.

Personally we're offended by the whole affair.

Get Your Celebrity Fix Online and Be Proud!

Too embarrassed to throw that National Enquirer in the shopping cart at Gelson's??? Do you sneak views of Star Magazine at the gym? It's time to come out of the celebrity obsessed closet. Now thanks to the internet you can get all the gossip and juice on the internet. These sites are fabulous and wicked. Just remember, they can sometimes be raunchy and fall under the category of NSFW or in the parlance of the blogospher (Not Suitable For Work!!).

The Superficial a nasty misanthrope who cuts sharp.

The to the point named Celebrities Suck

Perez Hilton who calls himself the "Queen of all Media."

Simply Skin Deep another nerdy guy who hates everyone.

Go Fug Yourself a site where "Fugly is the New Pretty." Two women ripping famous women to shreds for the 'fugly' clothes they wear. Wow, it's just like junior high without the zits!

Now you can enjoy your guilty pleasures in the privacy of your own PC. Have fun!

Rate My Teacher: Where Students Grade Teachers

Ever wonder what kids are saying about their teachers? Find out at a great site called Rate My Teacher.com. Students don't mince word when describing the faults and foibles of their teachers. At the Calabasas High Teachers site, it gets ugly at times, but the truth is deliciously brutal. When describing Anna Blout a language teacher at CHS one student writes "This woman has more loose screws than Home Depot. It is impossible to follow what she is saying. She gets confused, loses her place, cannot answer our questions and is unfriendly."Yikkes!

Teachers are rated on a score of 1 to 5 based on clarity, helpfulness and clarity. The unfortunate Ms. Blount scored a dismal 1.6 making her one of the lowest on the CHS roster.

Not all teachers got the verbal lashing however. Some, such as English teacher Trish McEvoyscored an impressive 4.4. Comments like "best teacher in the whole school". are common to Mrs. McEvoy. In fact McEvoy scored the highest of all the teachers and administrators at CHS.

The site has a parent mode which is unfortunately virtually empty.

Check out the site and be sure to comment on the good teachers you have come across. There is also a Rate My Professors for all college students and parents.

Only in Calabasas:Luxury Cars in the CHS Parking Lot

No, you are not looking at ads for Calabasas Motor Cars or Bob Smith BMW. These cars are driven by teenagers at Calabasas High. This is the parking lot of the school taken on an average day, not a "Drive Your Parents Car to School Day". We noticed BMW's, Mercedes, Range Rovers, Lexus and plethora of Audi's. Sure there were the standard Jettas, VW Beetles and Mustangs, which are typical teenage cars, but we are perplexed by parents who feel comfortable buying their 16 year old a . a car worth more than the average tution of most colleges.

The other odd thing noted was the lack of clunkers. No beat up AMC Pacers or last leg Buick Regals with primer spots. Meanwhile in the teacher parking lot, we noticed a lot more Toyota's, Hondas and Mini-Vans.

Click hereto see what we think kids should be driving to school.

Cheney In the Bottom of the Ninth

You got to love it, Reuters calls it:

Vonnegut Speaks at Ohio State University

Kurt Vonnegut author of Slaughterhouse Five and others, spoke recently at Ohio State University. He has a lovely take on life, war, our President and the meaning of the semi-colon; Peace and Justice . Bushites relax..judging by what he's holding in his hand, he won't be coming to our town any time soon!

Calabasas Chronicle Correction

In a previous post the Calabasas Chronicle reported the Las Virgenes Unified School District would be holding a parent meeting regarding the issue of kids and MySpace.com. The meeting will be held March 22,2006 @7:00PM at the AC Stelle muti purpose room, not the district headquarters as previously stated Please make a note of the change and see you there.

Clean Air Calabasas A smoke-free, family-friendly atmosphere of moralistic intolerance

The one good thing about the smoking ban is, it's making Calabasas famous! People from across the nations have offered up an opinion on what is going on in our city. Jacob Sullum of Reason Magazine Online. writes a great piece this week. A high-light includes this gem of reasoning,

"The ban's backers see smoking as a shameful vice that must be kept out of sight, an indecent activity from which adults must shield children's eyes as well as their noses. The logic of forcing people to set a good example for the kids—which also would justify banning fat people and motorcyclists from public places—reduces adults to the level of children whenever they venture out of their homes."

Check out the entire article at the Reason Online

Madonna for President?

Madonna urges Americans to embrace female leadership.

Although we don't agree with what she's saying and think she's a bit crazy, we love to imagine Madonna as president. She looks really scary and tough and we're sure she could take Kim Jong-Il or the dastardly Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in a celebrity death match any day. She would break them in half, free the world and change the national anthem to Material Girl

Jerry Cutler for Mayor???

We have sung the praises of Calabasas resident Jerry Cutler before in an earlier post, applauding his Letter to the Editor regarding the draconian smoking ban in Calabasas.

Now Cutler continues with a rational and informative take on the subject. Cutler is calling for an immediate modification in his March 9th comments in this weeks' edition of the Acorn.

Steve Lopez Explains "Crash" Win

There has been lots of debate about why the Best Picture Oscar went to Crash , instead of Brokeback Mountain, but we loved this tongue in cheek critique from , Los Angeles Times columnist, Steve Lopez.

Lopez dishes about academy voters saying,

"kabbala and Bikram yoga practitioners have been wrong, even if it's been years since any of them ventured east of Robertson except to hand out Oscars or cruise for hookers".

Funny stuff. We liked Crash, thought it was great, but we're still sad that two hot gay cowboys didn't take home their Oscar.

The Misguided Activism of Margo Arnold

While we applaud teenagers that get active in the community as opposed to sitting around the house, watching MTV and staring at their belly button rings, we feel to refrain from criticizing young adults whom we disagree, is to patronize them. Therefore we must comment on Calabasas resident Margo Arnold and her one person crusade to make it safe to breathe in Calabasas.

We debated whether to take on Arnold's position, as we are quite impressed with her and know her to be a thoughtful, intelligent young woman.

That being said, she is fair game, as she is an adult and she has influenced law that was based on her whims.

According to Arnold, "School had just gotten out and it was summer and I had been going to The Commons to get lunch or I would go in the morning and eat breakfast," Arnold said. "It got really annoying that I'd sit down outside and because it was warm and beautiful out there and there would be so much smoke around me. I get headaches when there's too much smoking around me."

So even though she is adorable, we have to say we are struck by how thoroughly narccistic her position is. Because one is annoyed, all must change?

How often we have been annoyed by so many things in our little burg of Calabasas, from soccer moms speeding through roundabouts to being subject to showing an ID every time we enter Hidden Hills . We are annoyed by the speed "humps", the $50,000 cars parked in the Calabasasa High parking lot, and now the ban of smoking.

While kids in Calabasas are being lured by internet predators and are overdosing on cocaine in their bedrooms, it's of no comfort to know they were at least safe from the dangers of second hand smoke.

So we say to our fabulous Ms. Arnold,"you go girl!" But please find an issue of merit.

It's Hard Out There for a Pimp????

We were shocked and horrified when Three 6 Mafia won the Best Song over the fabulous Dolly Parton, but the darn song is stuck in our head and we'll admit it is catchy. Plus, the rappers made the most honest, heartfelt acceptance speech in Oscar history, with one guy thanking Jesus for the honoring of his song about a pimp. Sublime.

The Secret World of MySpace

The MySpace.com drama continues. Although there is no news regarding the two Calabasas teenage girls who were lured away by someone they may have met on the popular website, the CEO of the site is fighting back against charges that this is all the fault of My Space. Chris DeWolfe claims the site is "no more dangerous than the real world." Anyone who has ever visited the The Commons on Friday or Saturday and seen the sea of tweens running rampant, will probably agree.

The responsibility to keeps kids safe, is not that of MySpace.com. MySpace.com is a business. Parents, are the one true safety net for underage children.

Computer savy elementary and middle school age children, can easily knock out a personal blog. It's probably unwise to assume since a kid is doing well in school, has friends, plays soccer, that they don't have a secret life on the internet.

Check out the <AC Stelle Group and be prepared to see your kid or your kids's friends. If you think snooping on a MySpace blog is an invasion of privacy, think again. The site is a public forum open to anyone, including predators.

According to the Las Virgenes Unified School District, a parent meeting will be held to address this problem and to get parents up to speed on this internet phenomenom. The discussion and information meeting will be held at LVUSD Headquarters, March 22, 2006 at 7:00PM

Bark Park Gets Small Improvements.

We're happy to report that some progress has been made at the Bark Park. Not much, but hey' it's a start. After a complaining e-mail was sent to our Mayor Barry Groveman, we didn't hold our second hand smoke free breath that anything would be done, but I guess now that the city is toxic free, everyone has more energy and ability to actually take care of issues that effect the people (and dogs) of the city. After a visit at the park today, Monday, the Calabasas Chronicle noted that the muddy hideous holes pocketing the park had been filled with sand shown on the picture at left.

However, more work needs to be done and the park needs to be fully opened. The park is never going to be pristine, like the forbidden side. Take a look at the differences between the open park and the no trespassing section of the park. It's time to open up the entire park. The dogs don't mind if the grass isn't perfect.

Mecury's Rising When Eating Sushi

Though the thought of slabs of raw tuna fish isn't everyone's cup of tea, consumption has sky rocketed in the US over the last decade, with the growth of the "chic" sushi business . Now a new study should have parents thinking twice: LATimes. GoMercury.org recently found that mercury levels in tuna at LA's top sushi restaurants were double the FDA's standards, with some levels so high that it is surprising the fish lived at all! High mercury levels are linked to reduced brain development in fetuses and young children. In adults mecury has a variety of toxic effects, mostly related to the nervous system and the brain. Behavior, memory, and learning processes can be adversely affected by mercury contamination. Mercury Information

What the Brits think of LA

It's always great to read someone else's perspective on your town and Chris Ayers, the LA Correspondent for the The London Times, has a great colomn on Los Angeles that's worth checking out. A personal favorite is his take on online dating. At some sites, he reports, "visitors are invited to browse through listings of male and female body parts that would look more at home in a medical textbook."

Lament for The End of Open Spaces

While driving Las Virgenes today, we were saddened to see the horrendous housing development by Shea Homes which is a nothing more than a row of monolithic McMansions, perched precariously over the already treacherous Las Virgenes Road. Just what Calabasas needs, more over-priced gated communities.

So instead of seeing the bucolic, rolling hills, spotted with the occasional pack of grazing sheep, like the above pic,

we'll get to see the mismatched stucco and cookie cutter architecture represented in the picture below.

Prices start at a cool mil, which is a deal considering the current average price of $1.26 million, for a home in Calabasas.

How did this get by the City Council, when home-owners have a hard time just getting permission to trim an oak tree in their own backyard.

In Calabasas,Crime Rate Goes Down as Another Gate Goes Up

The Calabasas crime rate consistently ranks as one of the lowest in the country, making it a really safe place to live. Don't tell that to the folks at the Braemer Community who are on their way to keeping those pesky Mulwood types out of their haven. The second gate is going up on the ironically named Freedom Drive and Muholland.

Well at least they'll be safe from theives who prey on residents who own $3,000 scooters.

We're wondering however who maintains Freedom Park, if the children of Calabasas are not free to utilize the facility?

Too Much Homework???

Any one with school age children knows the drill regarding homework. Unless you have a meticulous, over-achiever, who is most likely a girl, you've experienced the homework wars. The latest look on this issue comes from a story on NPR . Experts weight in on how much is too much and the effect on the family. Does all the home-work even work? Researchers from Penn State, are saying,

"increases in homework may actually undercut teaching effectiveness and worsen disparities in student learning,"

This is music to our ears, even though we seem to be in the minority. The reports to the contrary regarding the homeowork load include one from The Brookings Institute, which, completely trounces all our theories, but in a very polite way.

Teachers and administrators will comment (off the record of course), the one reason for so much homework is parent demand. Since we personally do not know any such parents, but believe in their existence, in much the same way people believe in UFO's. We know they are out there, even if we believers have never seen the aliens...ahh parents. But, we digress.

We, here at the Calabasas Chronicle do not want to do elementary and middle school all over again. We realize in a highly education, upscale population like LVUSD, the competition can be fierce to ensure our kids are the best Mission Project/State Report/Mid-Evil Market productions. And if little Britney or Cody can't make things look just so, we can always hire a professional.

On the other side of the spectrum,

The Action Alliance for Children says more homework for lower income kids can actually benefit the student need to catch up.

In the latest CNN/AP Poll our theory of the homework being a parent issue, is confirmed.

So what is a parent to do, if your tired of fighting and lamenting hours spent on vocab words? We have no idea, and we have to get off this blog and start nagging the kids to finish their homework.

Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People at Pajiba.com

In honor of Oscar, the Calabasas Chronicle recommends the funniest, bitchiest site for movie reviews found anywhere. Even Entertainment Weekly is no rival for the nonsensically named Pajiba whose tag line is the perfectly fitting "scathing reviews for bitchy people".

Current and past movie reviews, along with all 78th Oscar nominees are given the once over.

No one is spared from the frothy bitterness of Pajiba's band of excellent writers. For example, in a headline for a review of The Pink Panther, Pajiba recommends we "stay at home and rent The Jerk". You can't get more brazenly honest that that.

Not afraid to love a movie, however, the site has the most insightful take on the current crop of Best Picture Nominees, from the gay themed book-ends of Capote to Brokeback Mountain and everything in between.

Sit back enjoy the guilty pleasure of nasty smartness and tomorrow night remember we're rooting for a Brokeback evening!

State Department Warns Students of Perils at Spring Break

The State Department is warning students about the perils of travel in foreign countries during spring break. It's not all bleak however as the State Dept explains on an upbeat note, saying "it's possible to have a fun trip if risky behavior is avoided". And who would know better than those party animals at State???

The Calabasas Chronicle has compiled a list of tips that we think the State Department would approve:

Tips For Safe and Fun Spring Break

1) Be aware of local library book-lending spans. Overdue books can lead to excessive fines.

2) Know local museum visiting hours.

3) Be mindful of "Scenic Overlook" boundaries.

4) Do not feed animals at local zoos unless authorized.

5) Utilize waste containers- do not litter.

6) Get plenty of sleep- touring is much more fun when well-rested.

7) Have a great spring break and be ready to "hit the books" when you get back to school.

First Don Knotts, Now Jack Wilde....Childhood Heros Kick the Bucket

We cried when Don Knotts passed away earlier this week, but now this!!??? Jack Wilde died of mouth cancer yesterday after years of struggle with alcoholism. H.R. Pufnstuf had no comment.

Amanda Fink of Calabasas Hits Top Spot

We knew Amanda Fink was good, but we are now unduly impressed by her latest acheivement. Amanda was rated number one in Women's College Tennis rankings.

Congrats to Amanda and we want tickets to Wimbledon when she takes center court!!

How Did We Survive Pre Mayor Groveman?

We're so thankful to have someone like Mayor Barry Groveman to look after our health and protect our children from the evils of second hand smoke. How we lived all these years in great health is a mystery. But now we have our own personal Nanny/Mayor, all is well in Pleasantville....ahhh...Calabasas..According to Hiz Honor "In passing the ordinance, the city seeks to protect children from exposure to smoking and tobacco, to reduce the potential for children to associate smoking and tobacco with a healthy lifestyle, to protect the public from smoking and tobacco-related litter and pollution, and to affirm and promote the family-friendly atmosphere of the city's public places."

We are so glad the city has decided how to protect our kids, because Big Brother knows best.

Disclaimer:The above post is total and complete sarcasm. Thank-you.

The 88...Calabasas Band Is Totally Awesome

If you like power pop in the vein of Duran Duran, Oasis or even the Beatles, please check out our local keepers of the pop rock flame...

The 88.

These guys are hard working great musicians who really know how to dress! What a combo...Best part, they grew up in Calabasas and Adam Merrin lived in the Bird Streets.

Here's what people are saying about the 88

LA WEEKLY MUSIC AWARDS - BEST POP/ROCK BAND • BEST BAND IN LOS ANGELES - L.A. Alternative Press • Reached #2 on Amoeba Music LA Indie Chart after L.A. in-store performance • Reached #16 on Amoeba Music Weekly Sales Chart

You Think Calabasas Youth Sports is Competitive......Check this out

Sometimes people loose sight of the big picture and go crazy. Like this crazed mom as a youth basketball game. I guess the ref just didn't call things the right way for the Type A scary mom. Woman Beats Pregnant Ref a Kids Basketball Game

Calabasas Girls Lured by MySpace.com Predators

If you have a kid who likes to blog on MySpace.com make sure you know who, what and where they're going when the on-line. More investigations and attention from the news media will hopefully alert parents to wake up and check up on your kids.

Two of our own Calabasas youths got caught by a predator cruising for prey. The mother of one of the missing girls feels the girls were lured away by someone they met on the site.

Luckily the girls, Alexandra Demarco and Alexis Beyer made contact with their families Tuesday night. The girls were in Carson and said they had both been sexually assaulted.

Anyone who has every visited MySpace.com will tell you, it can be fun, friendly and addicting. It can be used as a way to stay in touch with friends and family. Many college age people use it as a way to check out new people and stay in touch with old friends from high school. The minimum age requirement is 15, yet anyone can lie about their age and many do.

Girls as young as 12 and 13 pose in seriously sexual poses and boast of sexual availability. Boys talk about their drug and alcohol use and abuse. Kids have no inhibitions because they think they're anonymous, however the site has a simple search key where names can be typed in and information given.

Although as a parent, it has been useful to keep track of my underage children and their friends, it's not used by most parents who are painfully unaware of the mechanics if not the exsistence of this whole cyber culture.

Luckily for the community the police have taken a smart approach on this issue and have used the site for catch child molesters. Thirteen people were recently charged in a sting operationheld in Orange County.